For a time I was lost. I had suffered 5 early miscarriages and my identity was in pieces. Growing up when asked what I wanted to do, I came up with answers I thought were ok and sounded like a good career, but in the back of my mind it was simple. I wanted to be a Mum, first and foremost. I fell in love at 19. To a man my family would not have chosen. He wasn't 'from the right draw'. He had 3 children from 3 different woman. He was the wrong class. Being with him broke every family rule. I didn't tell them for many years as in my bones I knew our relationship was right, but my family would say no. They were my bones though right! We married when I was 30 and he was externally accepted, as thankfully the world moves on. We tried for a baby straight away. I was so excited when within a few months I was pregnant. 2 weeks after finding out I miscarried. That's 2 weeks of my dreams coming true. 2 weeks of making visions, boy or girl? Names? A new life as a mum. Despite an early miscarriage it was painful.  Not just a period feeling but an A&E visit. It was mentally completely debilitating. Hormones that had been rising dropped with a bump. I will never forget a train journey of depression. A journey I considered jumping off. With care and rest I got back up. I heard stories of being very fertile after a miscarriage so there was no stopping me. Pregnant again quickly. But this came with fear. And fears realised. Repeat, repeat x 3. I was referred to a clinic, had a blood test. And told I had high natural killer cells. Great for cancer, but now killing my babies. The medical answer was steroids. Being pumped full of steroids to stem the killer cells. No thanks. I was not killing my babies. There had to be another way. I spent months throwing everything at alternative health, acupuncture, abdominal massage, reflexology, hypnotherapy, nutrition. All lovely but still another 2 miscarriages. And then the saving grace. I was running a yoga retreat. The venue owner was a kinesologist with a speciality in emotional problems. When he heard this he said, 'well have you asked your body?' My body? What did this mean. 'Well 95% is subconscious and running the show, so let's ask'. Was it physical - reflex fine. Was it my husband's issue - reflex fine. Was it emotional? Body dropped like a sick plant. He said he had to stab at the dark. But he had an idea. My mum had been on this yoga retreat. The story had been told of my husband being not right, not welcome, how I had broken family rules. Test - was it my family's reaction. My body dropped. Queue tears. I can't help their reaction. Yes, he said but my body didn't have to hold it. I conceived my first child, Charlie, that night. I've had another 2 since. No miscarriages. A miracle! 

And now...this sent me on a mission. 95% of our subconscious running the show. So this means family rules, memories from childhood all embedded in the subconscious now having a major impact. My path led me to Matt Hudson, the Mind Guy. With a history of NLP and hypnosis and a body language master able to read what the body is saying. It is incredible. He explained the interruption made in the emotional memories that had been the cause of the miscarriages. I have since gone on to deal with other things that haven't made logical sense. A phobia of needles, a fear of rats. A limiting belief about money. And a potential life saviour.  I consciously knew I had a phobia of needles and fear of rats. I had no conscious idea of where from. But my body did! Perhaps the most profound moment came when Matt noticed a subtle subconscious reaction whilst we were discussing parents dying early. That reaction suggested a deeply held belief that life may be short. And if my subconscious believes that, it would quietly shape how I live, the stress I carry, and how disease may present itself around the same age as my father had died. We actually realised my body did not have permission to imagine a longer life. What a shift to make. 

Using Matt Hudson's split-second unlearning method, I experienced something completely different. Change that doesn't rely on talking through endlessly or trying to to think differently. Simply a shift in a split-second. I didn't go into this work expecting more miracles. They had come when I held my babies. What I experienced instead was a series of quiet, powerful shifts. Fears that no longer fire. Beliefs that no longer limit. And a shift to grow up to be the empowered Mum I now am. This isn't about fixing yourself. It's about removing what never truly belongs. 

Matt is visiting us for a series of 4 Sunday reset workshops February and March 2026. Join us if you would like a full experience of shifts.